reminder on love and attachment

Often it is only when people suddenly feel they are losing their partner that they realize how much they love them. Then they cling on even tighter. But the more they grasp, the more the other person escapes them, and the more fragile the relationship becomes.

So often we want happiness, but the very way we pursue it is so clumsy and unskillful that it brings only more sorrow. Usually we assume we must grasp in order to have that something that will ensure our happiness. We ask ourselves: “How can we possibly enjoy anything if we cannot own it?” How often attachment is mistaken for love!

Even when the relationship is a good one, love can be spoiled by attachment with its insecurity, possessiveness, and pride; and then when love is gone, all you have left to show for it are the “souvenirs” of love, the scars of attachment.

siem reap with one old friend and 4 strangers

since i can’t facebook about it, well blog it then!

it started with a sudden burst of energy wanting to do something, and then it manifested into an urge to get out of the country to try something, or visit somewhere..  straightaway i thought of Jamie! the vagabond.. hahaa

cut long story short, she was to go to Siem Reap with her 4 cousins, and they wouldnt mind me joining.. even though i don’t know anyone of them, and i would be meeting with her cousins first in LCCT, while Jamie is flying over from Changi..

it turned out to be a completely fun filled trip! i think the last i had that was this fun was yr2000 with Alfred, Mayling, Eeyen, Judy, William, Chun Leng in Barcelona! Jamie’s cousins are very friendly and they made me feel like one of them..

we went silk, handicraft factory, wat bo, ang kor wat and it’s neighbouring ang kor’s, sunset at bakheng hill, traditional khymer dance, pub street, usd50cts beer, and more 50cts beer, cup noodles from singapore, nice white wines from Jamie, great swimming pool in the hotel, FCC…  we even found time to play UNO inside the swimming pool..

1000++ photos were taken, don’t know where to start filtering them, all looks nice..

make me feel that love is true..

i were at the airport arrival hall recently welcoming back a friend from overseas… he took a while to come out, and whilst waiting, i saw love filling up the air… true emotions that is, and i suddenly recalled what Hugh Grant mentioned in the movie, Love Actually..

“whenever i get gloomy with the state of the world, i think about the arrivals terminal at Heathrow Airport, and the pure uncomplicated love felt as friends and families welcome their arriving loved ones.”

so my dear friends, whenever you feel that sincere uncomplicated love is lacking, just imagine the scene at the airport..

while waiting, i saw people coming out hugging, displaying banners, waiting with flowers, some cried.. the one beside me hugged her mum for a few minutes! love can be, and is indeed real, fills the air, and so uncomplicated…

feb 2010

- got started programming in visual basic 6

- had too much food during CNY, wouldn’t mind plain rice, brown bread or oats for the next few months..

- had sometime to let thoughts sink, and learnings were more embedded to my system..

i shared a quote of HHDL with a friend lately,
“It is far more useful to be aware of a single shortcoming in ourselves than it is to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. For when the fault is our own, we are in a position to correct it.” – His Holiness the Dalai Lama

he found it to be very inspiring, whereas, i took this advice from HHDL more into heart with each sharing that i do..

meeting lawyers in a few days time, let’s hope it be smooth..

another heng-dai wedding

attended another heng-dai, Soo’s wedding at Ciao, KL.. Ciao is an Italian restaurant located near Kampung Pandan roundabout, the place is not too big, so they booked the whole restaurant/bungalow, and had a garden wedding.. and the view of the garden is overlooking Royal Selangor golf club.. indeed it was very good, and different to traditional chinese weddings in restaurants or hotels..

i think bungalow/garden weddings are the way to go! i am a firm convert now..

amongst our Concord College gang, Handri flew in from Jakarta, Jimmy from HK, Matthew from SG, Pep and Tae from Bangkok, and as the number of unmarried singles are reducing at an alarming rate, the opportunity for multi-country gatherings will slowly end..
signs of one’s phase of life that should be moving on!!

the chairman of Concord Collge singles club gets passed on by default again, not my turn yet, is CS now..  hmm, this passing the baton thing seems to happen rather often lately, this is definitely a scenario where the term ‘last man standing’ gets no glamour whatsoever! ha!

a teaching from my Rinpoche recently, find someone with the heart of gold, don’t mind her appearance (good or bad now), the most important is her personality, and with a heart of gold, she will surely age into a very beautiful flower..

i then thought of my mum and all the wonderful mums that i know, they definitely look like the most pretty flowers.

i met a very nice lady over the wkend..

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30/30

“我曾指若有六十岁命，三十过后就是人生开始倒数之时。。 “  杨千嬅

i have absolutely no clue when i will live till, perhaps 60 is a good gauge, as our chinese elemental horoscope goes a full circle every 60years.. to be more detailed,1980 is the year of the Metal Monkey, 1992 will be the year of the Water Monkey, 2004 will be the Wood Monkey, 2016 will be Fire Monkey, 2028 will be Earth Monkey, and then 2040 will be Metal Monkey again..

so, turning 30yrs old in a matter of months, is quite a significant milestone for me.. i sort of have a rough plan on how i would want to spend my 30yrs old birthday, and so the next few months will be to prepare my trip, and perhaps also take the time to reminiscence on the people who has made a significant contribution to my life..

family, gurus, friends, ex-bosses immediately springs to mind, people that have moulded me.. but how many of them will be able to be together with me and continue the next 30yrs like what we had in the past 30yrs? immediate family, siblings have already started their own family and moved out, while friends are starting to spend more time with their kids, or making babies…

counting down one’s life after 30yrs old suddenly seems not a far fetched plan that i can defer any longer.. we couldn’t choose how we want to live since we were born till we are 30, but we can certainly choose how we want to live our next 30yrs, and choose wisely, carefully, we must.. if we keep our daily routine, dosing ourselves without realising we are still in the rat race, and continue to live as though we are in our 20s, i am sure, by the time we realised it, we will already be 32, 33..

we can’t continue to live in pretendence, living as though we have all the time in the world and that we won’t age..

to move purposely forward, we must examine the paths we have taken so far.. revisit and reflect on them, but also mindful in not allowing ourselves to be trapped by our past while reflecting on them..

i think meditation helps, be it spiritual meditation, yoga, qi-gong…

quoted,…

“What’s more, all these experiences of pleasure and pain,
Are not brought about by anyone besides yourself.
They are produced by your very own actions, good and bad.
Once you know this, it’s crucial that you act accordingly,
Without confusing what should be adopted and abandoned.”

U.R.O

was having drinks with Henry last night at Prince Cafe SS2, and we came to the topic of URO, the Ultimate Right One…

he shared with me his URO, well, i kinda know who his URO is after knowing him for 13yrs.. and i shared with him mine.. interestingly, we came to the conclusion that our URO doesn’t really exist yet for us because if she is the URO, then we would already be together and happily married, and there’s no point in looking backwards, because the URO doesn’t belong to history, the URO should belong to the present, now, and future.. URO so to say, is the whole package, clicking, being together, and getting married..

and so, we concluded that our URO hasn’t really surfaced yet.. i guess this perspective of thinking will enable us to look forward, and not dwell on our old infatuations, thinking ‘what ifs’… it’s a bright day ahead,..

i want to buy a nintendo WII… and longing for futsal tmr..

time for a protégé?

SY asked me if i were keen to take someone under my wing and that someone will be my protege? i was flattered by his request, but at the same time, i don’t think i ever want to have any protege at this stage of my life..

when you can go into the stock market, and ATM (a verb coined by me, meaning to take pocket money from the stock market) the market, i don’t think you are looking for someone to pass your skills to.. instead, you will be seeking a higher meaning in life.. especially when i am not retired, and not in my 30s yet..

i wouldn’t be at all excited working with my partners in singapore if part of our money made aren’t going to charity, and i was very impressed by my Indon partner who says he actually goes to the village himself and hand the money to the villagers.. i have to be mindful though, i’ve shared stuffs with supposing charitable ppl only to find out that they are not who they seem to be..

a few years ago, i really cherished meeting people who have found the holy grail to trading in the stock market, and i would follow them religiously.. right now, i really cherish meeting people who understands that there is a higher truth out there, is philosophical, zen-like, and with a clear mind who won’t sway a second away from helping people..

i actually, don’t like talking about money.. and how to make them.. so time for protege? maybe not now..

if i care enough..

too many a times in our lives, when we hope for happiness for another person, subconsciously, you wanna be part of the happiness that you wanted for her/him.. i don’t think there’s any wrong in that, perhaps i’m wrong.

and when the other party decline your advances, you would stop hoping for the good of them, and enter into a state of grief, going through the 5 stages of grief, as defined by the Kübler-Ross model.. the 5 stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.. this Kübler-Ross model was originally developed for dying patients or patients with chronic diseases, but i think it applies to all walks of life..

a huge thank you to the teaching from the higher beings, i was able to not stop for a moment hoping for the happiness of the other party, even though things didn’t exactly work in my favour..

if we care enough, we can accept things as they are and continuously hope for the bliss of all whole heartedly.. and i will..

yes, we can.

may all beings have happiness and its causes..